The Life I Always Dreamed Of
by SavvySiberian
Summary: Li Meiling, Li Syaoran, and Kinomoto Sakura are all unhappy with their lives..... Each much find the courage to forgive, forget, and move on
1. Li Meiling

Authors Notes: This is a short Meiling fic reflecting on her life @page Section1 {size: 8.5in 11.0in; margin: 1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin: .5in; mso-footer-margin: .5in; mso-paper-source: 0; } P.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.Section1 { page: Section1 } 

Authors Notes: This is a short Meiling fic reflecting on her life. I have no idea where this came from since I don't even like Meiling much. But it was just a spur of the moment kind of thing. And there aren't many Meiling fics out there so I thought I'd give a shot at it. I'm not sure if I'm just gonna leave it there. It depends on if I get any more ideas. Well enjoy. 

The Life I Always Dreamed Of

A woman with long dark black hair sat on a stool. She sighed running her finger along the top of her now empty glass. She had lost count to how many drinks her body have acquired. Certainly more than enough to give her a killer hang over in the morning. Though she paid no heed to that as she waved the bar tender down. 

"Another one." She stated. 

"I think you've had enough." The man said softly smelling the scent of alcohol on her breath. Meiling looked up anger over coming her features. At any other time she might consider the man cute. With his blonde spiked up hair and dazzling blue eyes. A real heart breaker she could tell. But at the moment none of that matter. She had money and would pay for every drink she got. How dare he refuse her.

"Alright fine one more but that's it then I'll call a cab for you." The man replied seeing her determined look. He poured another drink for her and handed it over. She paid no more attention to him as she poured the liquor into her mouth. 

"Don't bother." She muttered pushing away the empty glass. "There's no where a cab can take me." 

"Don't you have a home?" He questioned. In his time he had seen many people in and out and heard many of their problems. By the way she was dressed he could tell she was different. Highly expensive cloths not the type of girl you would imagine here. Any man would be more than lucky to have her. 

"Oh of course I do. Infact I have a mansion and I'm married to the richest man in China." She laughed bitterly. 

"Tough life." He commented dryly although knowing those couldn't be the reasons for her distress

"And I'm deeply in love with him as well." She sighed softly. "Infact I have been since I could walk. He's always been everything to me." 

"Than what's the problem?" The bar tender questioned.

"Well first off he never really wanted to marry me…. His clan and I made him. Every time I look at myself in the mirror I hate the person I see even more. I destroyed his life, destroyed his happiness…. And the sad thing is I'm not even happy myself." Meiling explained tears glistened her eyes. She had originally thought that if perhaps she could make him forget about Sakura he would learn to love her. Though no matter what there was no way to make him forget her, it was impossible. She knew they where true soul mates she just couldn't admit it to herself.

"You see he's in love with this girl in Japan. At first glance I knew she was different. The way he acted around her… was different. And that scared me so I was hostile to her. Despite that she still wanted to be my friend. God dammit I want to hate her so much!! I mean she has ruined my life! Syaoran's not happy! I'm not happy! It's all her fault!" Meiling exclaimed letting the tears flow down her flushed cheeks. "But no matter what I can't blame her…. She's not guilty to any crime except the same one as I… and that's falling in love with Syaoran. The only difference was she cared about his happiness. Despite wanting him to stay with her in Japan, which I know for a fact she did, she left him go. At first I thought she was stupid! I mean she let the best thing in her life slip away from her. In the end though I realize that she doesn't want him to be with her if he doesn't want to be. That if he was actually in love with me she would accept it!" Meiling cried her heart out for the first time in a long time. Forever she had been trying to hide the pain that she was feeling. But there is only so much a person can hold in. 

The bar tendered stared at the young crying girl infront of him. She was only 21 far too young to be feeling this pain. A lot of stories had been told to him about hardships in people's lives, but this was by far a sad painful one. 

"Well he's stupid for not loving a beautiful girl like you… stupid I tell you… any man would be lucky to have you." The man said soothingly trying to cheer her up. He honestly hated to see people cry.

"No he's smart…. I'm a selfish brat." She muttered whipping her eyes. Though new tears just replaced the old. 

"I see a smart wonderful young woman who has a chance at the world infront of me. But I can tell you that nothing is going to come out of this marriage. You said yourself that neither he nor you are happy. I know this may hurt but I believe you need to let him go so you can enjoy life once again. This may be hard to accept but there is someone else out there that will love you more than life itself." 

"I don't know how…. We haven't spoken about this… but I know it's on both our minds." Meiling stated unsuringly. She honestly didn't want to let go of Syaoran, but this wasn't healthy for either of them. And for once she decided she wanted to do the right thing. Try and rebuild the innocent good person she had once been. 

"It will be tough but you have to talk to him." The blonde bartender replied forcefully. "Now how about that cab?" 

Meiling nodded knowing she had to go home sometime. She didn't want to worry Syaoran. Although he didn't love her as a lover she knew he did as a little sister. She should be thankful for that much. 

After a few minutes the sound of a horn was heard outside. She glanced to the blonde man and he nodded for her to go ahead. Meiling got up and headed for the door stumbling a bit. She turned around to say her thanks to the man. A total stranger had helped her sort out a lot of things. Meiling was astonished to find that the bartender was no where in sight. She walked back over to the bar but still saw no sign of the blonde man. 

"Can I get you anything?" A black haired bartender asked. She shook her head going back to the door. 

"I must be going crazy." She muttered entering the cab. This was proof that he had been there though, after all he had called the cab for her. Or was it the effect of the alcohol that flowed in her blood. She sighed her head pounding to badly to even care anymore. She told the driver where to go and he headed off. After a short fifteen minute ride she was standing infront of the Li Manor. 

"This is it Meiling now or never." She stated opening the front door and walking in. 

"Where have you been?!? It's past 3:00 am!" Syaoran exclaimed immediately as the door opened. 

"Didn't know you cared so much." She muttered walking over to the couch. 

"Of course I care I'm your husband!" Syaoran shot back sitting down next to her. He honestly didn't know why she insisted on making him worry all the time. "You've been drinking again." Syaoran commented noticing the smell of alcohol on her breath. 

"Syaoran…. We we need to talk." Meiling whispered softly letting a tear slide down her cheek. Syaoran whipped away the tear sighing. He knew this would have to be talked about sooner or later. He wasn't happy and he was pretty sure Meiling wasn't either. He hated that he couldn't love her like she wanted. Make her happy and give her a good life. His heart belonged to another and as long as he lived it would always be there. It wasn't fair to Meiling but he didn't want to break her heart either. But what could be done? 

"I know." Syaoran whispered back bowing his head sadly. 

~~LeoAngel~~


	2. Li Syaoran

Author's notes: Hey all, wow it's been a while for this story. Actually this had been at first intended to be just a one shot fic at Meiling's perception of her relationship. But you guys were right it did end abruptly and defiantly needed some work. So I added on another chapter… don't get to excited its short… plans for this story is it will probably end up being a three part.. the first obviously from Meiling's point, than this part was somewhat in Syaoran's, and the third will most likely be in Sakura's… but that could change so don't hold me to it lol! Well thanks to all who reviewed and I hope you enjoy this part ^ ~!

"I've loved you from the first moment I saw you… but" Meiling started not knowing how to go on.

"Meiling…" Syaoran started he hated that he couldn't make her happy, he felt inadequate as a husband. Meiling should always come first in his mind, but he couldn't lie to himself, he loved Sakura more than anything. He cursed the clan for putting himself and Meiling through such a painful experience. Neither were happy and neither knew if they could rebuild the pieces that had been so thoroughly broken. 

"Let met finish or ….I'm never going to be able to." Meiling stated her voice quavering in the middle. Syaoran fell silent watching her wipe her already red tinged eyes. He felt guilty, if only he could love her like he loved Sakura. Meiling was extremely beautiful and bright, and deserved so much more than a man who couldn't love her to full capacity. 

"I know you don't love me…" Meiling started again not sure where to go on from there. Syaoran wanted to interject with the statement, but what could he say, she wasn't wrong, he didn't love her how she wanted him to. 

"And despite all the time we've been together I know that will never change… you you love Sakura… and and you always have… So I think that we… should… I guess what I'm saying is… we need to break up… if we ever decided to have kids… or continued on in this relationship we would only bring pain to each other…" Meiling explained what had been plaguing both their minds for such a very long time. 

"I'm sorry… that I can't love you the way you deserve." Syaoran whispered back as more tears built up in Meiling's eyes. 

"It's not your fault… I practically forced you to marry me… Syaoran I'm sorry for that… I should have listened before… I knew it was so obvious that both you and Sakura loved each other… I'm sorry I put you guys through so much… I mean its been how many years and you still love her… God Syaoran I'm so sorry I'm such and awful person." Meiling let the tears she'd been holding back flood down her cheeks. She bowed her head letting her face fall into her hands. 

Syaoran moved closer to her wrapping his arms around her in an attempt to comfort her. He had never really blamed her for any of this. He knew despite everything that Meiling only meant good with whatever she did. She had only been blind by love, which is certainly a crime that Syaoran couldn't condemn. 

"Shhhh… you're not a bad person… and it's not your fault… don't every think that… We just weren't meant to be together… and I know that's a painful thought for you… and I wish things hadn't turned out this way… but your right we can't continue on like this… We will only destroy each other." Syaoran replied he ran a hand along her back trying to sooth the painful sobs. Meiling nodded as she lifted up her head. 

"I was so naïve to try and break you two up." She whispered lightly trying to laugh at the mistakes of her past. 

"I wouldn't say naïve…"Syaoran replied running his hands through her hair. 

"You should go…" Meiling stated glancing towards the clock. 

"Go?" Syaoran asked slightly puzzled. It was 3 am in the morning he really didn't think he had prior engagements. 

"To Japan silly… We are breaking off our marriage… You've been away from your true love for far to long. Go to Japan and get her back." Meiling stated kissing Syaoran for the last time.

"Will you be ok?" Syaoran asked letting the worry that showed clearly in his eyes drip into his voice. 

"Yes… You need to go." Meiling replied determined not to hold him back anymore. Syaoran hesitated before he stood up, he really didn't think she should be alone, but his presence was probably only causing her pain. 

"Thank you Meiling… I know this was hard… and I hope that someday you find the man who you truly belong with." Syaoran gave her one last hug truly hoping she did find her own happiness, but fully knowing that the first step to that was him leaving. 

"Me to." She mumbled as the door shut announcing Syaoran's departure. Meiling smiled slightly not quite a full one, but still a smile none the less. Something that she hadn't been able to do in an extremely long period of time. Although the heartache still beat in her chest like a sharp knife piercing through her soul, the pain had somewhat dulled. For the first time in a long time she didn't feel trap, it would take a lot of healing for the pain to go completely away, but Meiling finally felt free. Hope that she would find that person to complete her admitted from her heart, and she was finally happy knowing that Syaoran would be with the person he most loved. 

************************************************************************

Syaoran glanced at his lap noticing the mess he had made. His lap was filled with tiny pieces of paper. He sighed lightly he hadn't even noticed he had been ripping up the small paper that had been in his hand. His nerves were defiantly not on his side as butterflies made him feel like he needed to vomit. He hadn't seen Sakura in years and the anticipation was killing him, that wasn't the only thing that had him nervous though. He hadn't been in contact with her either and therefore didn't know anything that had happened to her. He loved her completely and that would never change no matter what, but it had been a long time, could she still feel the same way. What if there was another guy, there could even be a possibility that she was already married. 

All these thoughts flew around in Syaoran's already tired mind. After all he had been up all night worrying about Meiling's whereabouts and now he was worrying about whether Sakura was married or not. He sighed again knowing at the rate he was going he would kill himself before he even got to see Sakura. Syaoran ran a hand through his hair deciding it would be better to just worry about all those issues when they came up. There was no need to agonize about Sakura marrying some other guy if there wasn't even another guy. Right now he had to concentrate on getting to sleep, otherwise he'd look like crap when he saw her, and that was defiantly something he didn't want to look like. Syaoran closed his eyes in an attempt to sleep and surprisingly within the hour Syaoran was indeed allowed some peaceful rest. He would certainly need it for the upcoming events that he would have to face. 

~~Sora-chan~~ 


End file.
